This is Josephine's story where she shared her #trigger with me which seemed rather small but had its roots in her #childhood #betrayal. Not every healing session is dramatic and traumatic; some are insightful and interesting. I dug into her subconscious mind to decode the trigger fully and heal it.
I once worked on a trigger with Josephine (let’s call the person with this name), where she got triggered when her favourite cake slice went missing from the fridge. She went around asking everyone about the cake but no one had a word to say. The mystery was irritating her and triggering her in ways her conscious mind could not fathom. She didn’t understand why in her safe, loving home environment a slice of cake would go missing and no one would take accountability for it. When she flagged this to her parents and siblings, they asked her to chill and immediately ordered another slice of cake for her. They didn’t understand the fuss Josephine was making over a “silly slice of cake”.
BUT for Josephine, this was far from silly. She took it very personally. Her #trigger was… why had someone misplaced (eaten or accidently thrown) and not taking ownership. When I dug into her subconscious mind for a good 10 minutes, and understood her feelings, we established that this trigger had its actual roots in Josephine’s childhood.
What happened in Josephine’s #childhood?
Growing up, Josephine had an older cousin who she was very fond of and loved playing with. She felt a deep sisterly bond with this cousin (let’s call her Trish). Trish and Josephine were two peas in a pod BUT had many differences in the lifestyle they lived. Josephine came from wealth and #abundance and Trish came from #lack and poverty. Trish had 3 pairs of clothes which she wore on repeat unlike Josephine who had a new outfit everyday and could go without repeating clothes for 90 days at the very least. This however didn’t majorly disrupt their bond until Josephine’s new shoes went missing every week. Josephine shared with me that there was this phase (lasted about 4-6 months) where every time Josephine wore a new shoe, Trish would ask her to try the shoe on and walk around the building. Trish would take the shoe in front of Josephine, wear it, walk around for 15 minutes post which one shoe (only one shoe- either the left pair or the right pair) would go missing. This happened time after time when Josephine would return home with only one shoe with the other one gone missing. Josephine’s mother kept telling her to NOT LET THE COUSIN TRY THE SHOE ON but being deeply connected to Trish, Josephine never had the heart to say no; nor did she have the heart to confront/blame the cousin for losing one shoe. But one day after 4-6 months, Trish again asked for the shoe and Josephine said NO. She said she cannot give her the shoe because shoes always go missing. Josephine recalled (in the session) that Trish tried to convince her a lot to let her try the shoe on but to no avail. Josephine had now made up her mind to not give the shoe, she learnt how to draw a #boundary and say no… even if that meant jeopardizing such a critical relationship. Josephine recalls that since that day, she never lost a shoe because Trish never got to try one.
I asked Josephine if she ever confronted Trish at a later point in her life or was upset with Trish to which she said NO. Josephine till date loves Trish and is close to her and never got upset with Trish because the relationship always meant a lot more than a few pairs of shoes for Josephine.
So, when the cake went missing, the actual trigger was from the childhood when all those shoes went missing and the person involved was her cousin who she loved so dearly and felt safe with. Josephine surely must have felt a small pang of #betrayal from her cousin which she couldn't acknowledge or understand when she was little. Since this issue was left #unhealed and unaddressed, it showed up in the CAKE episode years later. Once the limiting beliefs were established, released and healing was done, Josephine felt very indifferent about the missing cake. She could let it go, calling it an accident. Earlier, till we didn’t decode the issue, Josephine was full of anger, frustration and went round and #round in #circles saying same things over and over again-
“Why would someone throw or eat my cake and not even speak the truth? Why can people not take accountability of their actions? How can someone be so dumb? How can a person be so sneaky?”
You see these sentences have a pang of #betrayal too?
These sentences went on REPEAT for a few minutes at the beginning of #digging.
Once the healing was done, Josephine laughed at her trigger with love, compassion, understanding and #AWE. She was in awe because she could never imagine something that didn’t seem to bother her much in her childhood and showed up like this in her future.
If you work on smaller triggers, big ones would never show up. ;-)
Hope this post was insightful and an AHA moment led for you.
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Love,
Sia
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