SPEED DATE with meaningful questions | Get to know anyone ASAP

This blogpost must go down in posterity because it holds a long list of supremely meaningful questions which help you build real bonds for life.

The Game

My unfaltering love & loyalty to the realm of self growth, trickled down into the way I approach all relationships. In my humble opinion, a relationship that lacks meaning & growth, goes stale and futile. This is true for any and every relationship. This is why I love playing the ‘question-answer game’ or the ‘interview game’ as some might like to jokingly call it.

Idea behind this game

The idea of this game is to have meaningful conversations and understand a person as deeply as possible. Small talk is fun and all but if two people are seeking to find meaning in their relationship this game is a must. Even if this relationship is a newly budding friendship. It’s not the answers that are important… it’s the thought process that goes behind those answers.

Playing this game with a potential partner or existing partner will draw you two closer. This can also be played with friends/parents/siblings.

Good News

Good News is that with this game a person can’t pretend for long.

I had written a very similar blog post with questions in my previous blog and I have been playing this Q&A game with my hubby on EVERY SINGLE DATE. So our date rule is to not touch our phone and spend time connecting through these questions. Sometimes questions are fun, sometimes a bit deep and sometimes a fair mix of both.

Another good news which prompted me to write this post again in the blog is -

Jay (too) speaks about understanding a person’s personality (past), values (present) and goals (future) through mindful and meaningful questions.

Past-Present-Future

Personality-Values-Goals

If you want to understand a person’s personality, you need to ask them questions about their past (examples of the questions are below). Past experiences shape our personality.

To understand how a person is in the present moment, ask them about their values and what they stand for {again, examples of the questions are below}.

A lot of people think of relationships as investments. This means it’s got a lot to do with how they will turn out in the future; will it give good returns (=connection & growth) or will it turn out to be a bad investment (=waste of time & energy). Another thing that is linked to the future is GOALS. If the other person’s goals are in alignment/harmony with your goals & values, the relationship is meant to be healthy in the long run. It’s a must to understand a person’s future plans by asking them questions around their goals in life.

TO NOTE PLEASE:

This game can be played with anyone- bestie/family/sibling/group of close friends/potential partner.

Questions

(Some are from Jay’s book and rest all are mine):

What makes you understand that you're resting? What does resting mean to you?

When was the last time you felt fully rested?

What kind of holidays do you prefer-

Complete rest with no dressing up like in the Maldives/Goa/Seychelles at a resort just swimming, chilling, eating

or

Exploring a big city like LONDON/PARIS/NYC/MILAN/TOKYO, etc.

or

Unique adventures such as hiking or jungle safari?

What is the most important thing for you in a spouse/partner (apart from loyalty and trust)?

Who in your life ADDS value? And HOW?

Which relationship is the most important one in your life right now and why?

Who hurt you the most and how?

What does success mean to you? And what does failure mean to you?

What do you think wealth is/means?

If you had a bottomless source of money, where you spend maximum money and why?

What do you hope to be (career wise) in a parallel reality?

If you could travel back and forth in time, where would you visit and why?

If you were to die in next moment and you could make ONE and only ONE phone call, who would that call go to? And what would you say?

What has your life's biggest regret taught you?

If you had to teach something fro free every Saturday for two hours for the next 20 years of your life, what would you teach, to whom and why?

What do you most like and hate about yourself?

What’s something you love to do?

Do you have a favorite place/travel destination? What is it and what makes it your favorite?

Is there a book you’ve read more than once (and why)?

Is there a movie/series you have watched more than once (and why)?

What’s occupying your thoughts the most at this point?

What’s something you wish to know about more often?

What’s the best meal you have ever had?

What’s the best meal you’ve ever cooked?

Which phase of your life did you grow up the fastest and why?

What aspects of your childhood do you hold very dearly to your heart?

If you could go back in time and delete 3 events from your life what would they be and why?

What’s one quality or virtue you wish you grew up with?

What would you say are your 3 big achievements so far in life?

Tell me about your best friend from childhood.

Tell me about your best friend now.

Would you rather holiday in the mountains or the beach?

Who’s validation did you seek growing up? And why?

If you could change one thing in the way you were parented, what would it be and

why?

If you could have someone mentor you in life who would that be and why?

When have you felt the strongest mentally/emotionally?

When have you felt the strongest physically?

Who was your favourite teacher in school and why?

Which subject were you great at in school?

Which subject do you wish you were great at in school and why?

If you could change one thing about yourself (a physical feature) what would it be?

Who’s the most fascinating person you have ever met?

What’s the most out-of-character thing you’ve done or would like to do?

Have you ever had a big plot twist in life?

…Would you like to share that with me?

If you won the lottery, what would you spend your money on?

What’s the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?

Are you proud of yourself?… Why & what for?

What would you do if you had enough money to not need a job?

What are the shows that make you laugh?

When do you most steer towards comedy content- when you’re very happy or very sad?

When do you most steer towards self development content (podcasts)- when you’re very happy or very sad?

Do you think sports can teach us about life?

If you could ace at a sport, which one would it be and why?

If your friends could describe you, what do you think they would say?

If your peers at work could describe you, what do you think they would say?

Are you more like your mother or your father?

What’s the most annoying advice you have ever received?

What’s the worst advice you think you have ever given?

If you and only you could get an extra hour every day, what would you prefer doing in that hour?

Do you think life is hard?

What makes life hard?

What makes life easy if life could be easy?

What are the challenges you think men/boys face in general in life?

What are the challenges you think women/girls face in general in life?

Describe your dream home, a realistic dream home and how that would look like?

Who do you think loves you the most?

Who do YOU love the most?

What is your love language for expressing love?

What is your love language for receiving love?

Who will cry when you die?

How would you like to be remembered after you die- what for?

If someone were to give a speech after you die in your loving memory, who would it be and why?

Have you ever been misunderstood?

What do you think makes a relationship healthy?

What are your thoughts on exercising daily?

What are your thoughts on eating healthy 90% of the time?

Have you ever experienced emotional eating?

When have you felt stuck in your life?

…How did you come out of it?

Who do you call when you’re in trouble?

Who is the first person you call when you receive good news?

Who do you reach out to if you’re struggling emotionally?

If you could hug anyone right now for 2 full minutes, who would it be and why?

What’s your favorite app and why?

Have you ever experienced betrayal?

…How did you come out of it?

Have you ever written a letter?

Would you rather send a heartfelt email to your loved one or a handwritten, heartfelt letter?

What’s your favorite piece of clothing and why?

If someone were to write a book on your life, what would the title be?

There are so many more questions that I can add but I hope you get the idea now ;-)

Love & Light,

Sia