Pattern of ‘Love is controlling & manipulative'
I once worked with a guy, let’s call him Sam; Sam wanted to be able to make better decisions because his work demanded him to do so day in and day out. But he was just not able to. Upon using the ThetaHealing Digging Method, I realised that Sam was holding onto some regrets in life. As a healer, we understand that beliefs are stacked on top of each other like jenga and if we remove the base layer that holds the whole jenga together, all the patterns will automatically get shattered. So I kept digging him to understand
<what would he like to change about his life with respect to the regret he was holding onto…>
Sam told me that he regretted wasting 5 precious years of his life dating a manipulative girl. He said that she loved him a lot but she also ‘effed with his brain’. She was controlling, always wanted her way BUT loved him to bits. He said that he’s never been loved so intensely which is why he stayed in that relationship for 5 years.
When I questioned Sam on his break-up he said,
“But there’s a limit to love also right? How much could I have tolerated her insecurities, manipulations; it is my whole life God damn it. What have I done to put up with this toxicity forever? Moreover, it had come to a point where she doesn’t even want me to grow in life. I wanted to start my own business and she kept manipulating me into thinking how bad of an idea it will be for 'us'. So I read in between the lines and understood that she will never change and will never make room for me to fly free and grow."
Sam quoted various instances from his relationship which went to prove how much he was being bamboozled in that relationship alongside being loved immensely and deeply.
After good 30-40 minutes of speaking over this, what I understood from his choice of words was the belief Sam was carrying-
Love is manipulative.
So I asked him, when did this pattern start for him. It took him a few minutes but he did realise that all of it started with his parents. He told me how overly strict, restrictive, critical, over analytical and extremely loving & caring his parents were. He confessed that he felt guilty even talking about it because he had accepted his parent’s way of loving him.
Parenting is a majestic dance in the flames and we all understand that. It can be tricky, it actually IS tricky and doesn’t come with an instruction manual so every parent does the best they can based on what they knew at the time they had a child. Sam credits a lot of how he is to his parents but he did understand that all of that also came with a limiting belief that-
Love is manipulative; love is restrictive; love can be messy & chaotic.
On breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 years, he consciously broke the pattern but subconsciously healing had to be done. Also, he was carrying regret from the relationship he had.
All of these things have been simplified and presented to you but these were stacked in complex layers. In ThetaHealing, us healers are trained to decode everyday problems in such a way that limiting patterns are unvelied and life is transformed. A ThetaHealing session is a sacred high place where insights are birthed and clarity comes to visit.
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Love,
Sia
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