Our very first role models
When we are between the ages of 0-9, our parents are everything for us. They are not just our primary care-givers who keep us safe but also our role models. From 0-9, whatever our parents do/feel/act/react/respond to/believe in and model for us becomes our MANTRA. By this I mean, our subconscious programming (beliefs).
If our parents are racists, we will be the same on a subconscious level unless we have diligently worked on removing that from our subconscious programming.
Or, if our parents have an affinity to a certain type of men/women, we’d be the same, no matter how much we disagree with them or criticises them for it.
Law of Non-Resistance
Did you know that what you resist, persists?
This means that the exact thing you criticise your parents for, you become THE SAME.
For example, if your father strongly judges a man’s worth on the money he makes and is money-driven (your father) and you dislike this in your father to a point that you have decided to never be that person who judges based on money;
deep down,
you are exactly like your father.
WHAT YOU RESIST PERSISTS.
What happens after the age of 9?
After we cross the age of 9 years, we start to have our own opinions and perception of the world. We majorly begin to detach from our parents (in a healthy way) and the journey of self discovery begins. This is the time validation from our parents begins to matter less and less and validation from the outside world starts to matter more and more. Once a child crosses 9 years of age, they begin to start looking for a mentor. They look for one in anyone and everyone they remotely admire. Some kids voice this desire to have a mentor but majority of the kids don’t. This is where raising more awareness of hiring a Coach & Healer helps. If you know of any parent who has a child approaching 9 or crossed 9 and is without a Coach, please bring this article to their notice.
Reasons we need a Coach & a Healer in our lives
1>Third Person Perspective
Whenever we go through something in life, we tend to share it with our loved ones. These people with all their good intent end up giving us a biased opinion on our situation. They also guide us from their limited perceptions and negative beliefs. At that time, we actually need a wise, third person, neutral & unbiased opinion. This is the reason I discourage my clients to seek life altering advice from friends and family and rely on their intuition, inner compass which is activated through healing and learnings.
2>Professional who’s trained to navigate and decode feelings
Whenever we are hurt/upset by whatever that is happening in our life, we are full of a cocktail of emotions which we are unable to navigate through. We feel many feelings in layers and don’t know what to do or how to perceive/act/react/respond. This is the time, a life coach and a healer comes to the rescue. They are trained to understand feelings and emotions best. They know how to use these feelings and emotions to become more virtuous and empowered.
3>Decoding patterns that are detrimental to your growth
When we realise that there are certain patterns that keep playing in our life,
{for example
partners cheating on us,
those around us mocking us,
us feeling lonely due to lack of deep connections,
someone else getting our promotion at work,
always landing up with a mean manager, etc.} we need to sit with a professional to understand the core reason behind these recurring patterns. Healers are trained to decode patterns and will do this for you. All you have to do is show up for a session.
4>Goal setting
Yes, you can always set goals for yourself but who’s going to hold you accountable?
Who are you going to be seriously answerable to?
A Coach doesn’t mean a teacher, a coach means a COMPASS who forces you on a regular basis to reflect, introspect and evaluate your life’s choices.
A Coach and healer has their intentions in leaving you morally (and virtue wise) enriched. This is done through inner work (healing) and goal setting (HWs).
A lot of people fear dependency on a Coach/Healer.
This is a ludicrous idea because do you ever feel dependent on water/food/clothes/education? Having someone guide you is the easiest way to enrich your life and make the most out of your time, money, energy and capabilities. Never think twice before utilising your money on Coaching/Healing.
5>Self discovery
When you sit with a healer, you automatically set an intention to heal to become a better version of yourself. You speak about what triggered you, what’s bothering you and how you want to feel. This opens gateways into decoding patterns of your mind. The benefit of decoding patterns is revealing negative beliefs you’ve been holding onto. The moment these negative beliefs are brought to light, they start shaking to become weaker. Once they weaken, it’s a great time to hit the nail on its head- release these beliefs to be replaced with uplifting ones. You don’t have to worry about “how to do this” ‘cause a healer is trained to do this FOR you.
6>You are the protagonist of your own life
Sitting with a Life Coach/Healer you begin to realise how much validation you have been seeking from people around you. You start figuring out and feeling it in your gut that the only person who matters THE MOST IN YOUR LIFE is YOU. This is a fact everyone knows and reads about in quotes or social media but unless it “hits home”… it’s not going to matter. You won’t be able to act on it unless you feel and spot patterns in your life.
We spend too much time focussing on other person’s achievements, milestones, competing, comparing and sulking despite of knowing that we all have a different timeline. But only when you start working on yourself with a professional, you do actually begin to see shifts.
7>Safe space to open up and talk about vulnerabilities and triggers
Every time we get triggered (hurt/upset/jealous) we REACT. If some of us are unable to react, we slow down our response but unless the pain/trigger in deeply understood and navigated, our response is backed in spite and bitterness too. Working on our pain point by opening up and being vulnerable to our healer works like magic. You will begin to feel an opening in your chest where light and positivity will begin to enter. It’s not something that can be described in words but only be felt. This is what catharsis and AHA moment feels like.
8>Switch the SELF LOVE button ON
Self love is spoken about so much online that it’s beginning to make people feel a lot of cringe towards but what a healer/coach does is… makes you act on it. A healing & coaching session is centered around practicing and exercising self love on a regular basis. You only know and understand self love when you act on… that’s really the only way. No matter how many books you read on self love, it only comes by LIVING IT.
Example, no matter how many books you read about swimming, you will only learn, know, understand and exeprience it by stepping into a pool.
9>Shifting perspective from WHY ME to FOR ME
When sh*t goes down in our life, we start chanting WHY ME. It’s a very natural, normal reaction. Those who work with a healer/coach come out of it rather quickly. A healer holds a space of deeper understanding and makes the client focus on learnings, acceptance, moving forward and forgiveness. These aren’t fluffy words, these are HARD things to navigate and when someone who’s trained in the field holds your hand through this, you move on faster and with grace. Sitting with a healer/coach helps you turn every adversity into an opportunity to be a better, stronger, cooler, nicer, more beautiful version of yourself.
10>Trauma release
Trauma is very relative. My trauma may be ‘not that big a deal’ for you. Someone else’s trauma might be life threatening for me. Trauma is different for different people and must be dealt with gentleness and deeper understanding. Healers, Coaches and those who specialise in ‘trauma release therapy’ know the correct lingo and have been trained with a ton of research based steps to release trauma so that the client can start enjoying life and live in peace.
11>Improving relationships
Healing and Coaching sessions result in self discovery. The more you understand yourself, the more you learn how to effectively communicate your needs/ desires/ expectations in any relationship. You release the other person (be it any kind of relation) from the obligation of making you feel a certain way. The moment that pressure is off, a new kind of relationship begins to sprout where both the parties are adding value.
12>Improving self image
Sessions are a scared time where client is made to understand self in a deeper way. All the love, focus, comapssion, judgement free evaluation towards self is initiated by the Coach/Healer. This eventually results in major in improvement in the way a person views himself/herself. Client begins to nurture self and his/her needs. A positive self image is a result of consistent self work which is done by showing up sessions for self to improve self. Actions speak louder than words and every week or so when you sit with a Coach to talk about yourself and how you feel…you begin to respect and love yourself in a totally new way.
If you found this post helpful, please share it with your friends/family/acquaintances/ whoever you feel needs to read this now.
I am a Life Coach & Healer and you can read about me HERE.
If you wish to learn HEALING from me, read about it HERE.
To book a session with me, drop me DM on Instagram feeding_thy_soul or email me at
Love,
Sia
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