Story of the jealousy working as a shield
A lot of the time, we judge and diss the emotion of jealousy but let me tell you, it’s the most honest and raw emotion of them all. We all feel it but the magnitude varies and what we DO WITH THAT FEELING OF JEALOUSY differs from person to person. I’ve decoded one such case below so let’s dive in. Tanya (not her real name) came to me wanting to get rid of the emotion of jealousy she was feeling towards her loved ones. She admitted that she was generally a secure person but these sudden pangs of jealousy especially towards 2-3 people around her would make her feel “horrible and shitty” about herself (her words, not mine). Tanya said that she was NEVER the jealous type and she was happy with where she was in life… then why were such feelings taking over her sanity now?
So when did the feeling of jealousy sprout?-
Upon digging her subconscious mind, I understood that she was indeed a secure person who felt happy for others but when she was 7 years old, had a friend in her neighborhood who was drop dead gorgeous, popular and intelligent; let’s call this friend Ira.
Tanya and Ira were really tight and Ira’s popularity in their neighbourhood didn’t impact their friendship. Upon inquiring more from Tanya, I understood that Tanya when she was 7, felt that she looked “mediocre”, “below average” and the “opposite of charming”. She always looked up to Ira in awe but never let that spoil their friendship. Tanya mentioned that at the age of 7, she thought she didn’t even have the right to feel jealous of Ira because she (Tanya) wasn’t even good enough to be compared to Ira. You see how low her worthiness was? When I asked Tanya how she felt about Ira today, she said, ‘I feel happy for her, we are still friends but I no longer feel she’s better than me because I’m happy with where I’m at in life.’ So basically what happened- Tanya suppressed her jealousy towards Ira because she didn’t feel worthy of comparing herself to Ira and the friendship meant a lot more than acknowledging the emotion in her childhood. And we all know what happens to suppressed emotions, right? THEY. COME. BACK. I then asked Ira how her childhood jealousy helped her be the person that she was today and she said that it helped her to be the best version of herself. How can jealousy benefit? A lot of people are jealous because it pushes them to improve and grow but my question is, DO YOU REALLY TO GO THROUGH JEALOUSY TO BE MOTIVATED TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF? Present jealousy moments
In Tanya’s present jealousy moments I understood that jealousy was keeping her from loving and investing in those relationships (those 2-3 people she felt jealousy towards). Tanya confessed that if she lets go of the jealousy and starts to feel love for these people, she will heavily invest in them and get hurt if they don’t reciprocate the love. We established towards the end of the session that Tanya is full of love and has a lot of capacity to love and build strong relationships. We understood how pure her heart is and how full of praise and nurture Tanya is. But her little heart has been hurt in the past and sprouting jealousy allows her to protect her heart from hurting again. We established an array of negative beliefs throughout the session, released and healed them.
Jealousy is a misunderstood emotion that is as real and honest as all other emotions. It should never be suppressed but in fact must be allowed to feel and pass. The moment you acknowledge that you’re jealous, you disempower the control that emotion has on you. Jealousy is very multi-layered and responds very well to healing. It acts as a shield and protection in many ways but you have to sit and decode it to know how it’s been benefiting you. Book a session with me; drop me an email on themavenlifestyle@gmail.com or drop me a direct message on Instagram @feeding_thy_soul
Love,
Sia
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