We manifest similar issues our parents go through unless we heal from them. Read this case to understand how genetic unhealed wounds (genetic trauma) show up.
I recently worked with a beautiful 23 year old girl who got married into the exact same drama she grew up witnessing. Let’s call her Shanaya.
Weight & “I cannot be consistent because I’m lazy” Blocks
Shanaya had been struggling with weight issues for a plethora of reasons. Her excessive weight was making her feel conscious and under confident. She said she couldn’t do half the things in life because her weight got in the way.When I started digging her, we established a whole lot of layered beliefs which boggled us both. Shanaya knew exactly what to do to drop the weight but was unable to be consistent. When I asked her WHY, she said, I think I’m lazy.
Now, as a healer, I know that “I’m lazy” is just an illusion.
THE “I am lazy” ILLUSION
Whenever I hear my clients or students say this phrase, I instantly know that there is a subconscious block. We are never lazy to do things that matter to us and hold the potential of shifting our life for good. As a society, we overuse this phrase (I am lazy) because we don’t know what to make of our inability to do something we know we must do. So, this phrase was established out of feeling clueless as to why we fail to do things we know we absolutely must.
Digging in Shanaya’s past
Shanaya was struggling with weight issues for the longest time. It piqued at times she felt lonely. At the age of 16, her parents moved cities without giving her any prior notice. Shanaya had a great group of friends who she had to say goodbye to almost overnight. At the age of 16 she had to learn to very quickly adjust to a new city, new lifestyle, new way of talking. She really couldn’t CONTROL her parent’s decision to move cities no matter how badly she hoped they’d not move. Everything in her life seemed out of control, but you know what she thought was in her control?
Food.
Shanaya loved food. It gave her comfort & a strong sense of being in control which being in a new city couldn’t. When she ate and ate and ate, it made her feel on the subconscious level that
’Oh finally, this is something that I have control over’.
Suddenly food got associated with comfort and something she could control.
This is where the addiction/obsession/fascination with food began for her.
We had to establish this very gently for Shanaya because one wrong question on my side as a healer and I would have lost her ability to realize and admit what was subconsciously going on.
Clients have a hard time recognising patterns in their life because they are so involved in the drama that they can’t make connections. Some clients are however trusting of the healer and intuitive enough to understand what’s actually going on. I'm so thankful for such clients.
Once Shanaya and I understood where the struggle around food was coming from, we had to deal with why she was unable to take actionable steps.
Shanaya’s Present
Shanaya is married into the family where her sister-in-law is favored over her. This is the exact same pattern her mother went through with her sister-in-law. Shanaya’s Mum felt invalidated & underestimated by her mother-in-law who would always favor the other daughter-in-law (Shanaya’s aunt). This made Shanaya believe that whatever is happening to her Mom, will happen to her. Shanaya grew up seeing her mother suffer in this way and took Mummy’s struggles very personally, What happened then? She manifested the same group of family members who would help her recognize and release this trauma from her body and psyche. When we established this, Shanaya had a hard time believing how her mother’s trauma could get locked up in her to manifest similar people and situations in her life. Being trusting of me and my work (thankfully), Shanaya understood that this was a subconscious pattern and a self fulfilling prophecy. Whatever we believe- good or bad, ugly or beautiful gets manifested in our life. We take what our parents go through too personally which is why healing/coaching/therapy are non-negotiable. It’s non-negotiable because it helps you see the patterns of your parents and family members you subconsciously emulate. Now once these patterns are recognised and healed, the reality begins to shift.
Shanaya’s mother-in-law is doing the same to Shanaya; favouring the other daughter-in-law over Shanaya. This infuriates Shanaya. Shanaya’s mother-in-law is the boss of the house at the moment and you know what that means?
She calls all the shots. She has ALL THE power and control.
This resulted in Shanaya being a people pleaser especially towards her mother-in-law. Shanaya is smart enough to understand that the day she stops pleasing her mother-in-law, her future (financially & socially) would be jeopardized.
TRICKY ADVICE
A person DETACHED from this situation would tell Shanaya to leave her mother-in-law’s house keeping her husband in the loop and start afresh if need be. But this is tricky because not everyone is ready and okay to take such a big leap of faith. It’s not like smart people like Shanaya do not consider this option; they do, but they decide to not follow it because it would mean taking 100 steps back financially. And to each their own. It's easy to ask people to take such measures but the person must be ready and comfortable to do this.
Back to the weight issue
When I asked Shanaya what would happen if she would drop the weight and become fit?
She was borderline frustrated at that question because she couldn’t think of a problem if she got fit. But like I said, she was in allowance of me pushing her buttons to get answers from her subconscious mind. After a good few minutes of going back and forth, she admitted that the worst that can happen would be-
“If I drop my weight, I will no longer be as humble as I am. I will stop pleasing others, especially my mother-in-law because I am sick of seeking her approval and it pisses me off to see her control me. I will no longer feel the need to be at her beck and call. I will be confident and on my own.”
Can you see a problem here my dear reader?
If Shanaya drops the weight, yes she will be confident and independent but she will lose her humility (which she highly regards) and stop pleasing her mother-in-law which is a THREAT. You see how we established that she doesn’t want to separate and start afresh? So if she got to a place where she had to stop pleasing her mother-in-law, it could be majorly threatening for her (financially and socially). This is why despite knowing she has to drop the weight, she couldn’t. She thought she was being lazy.
After all of these were established, within 60 minutes, we recognized the negative beliefs and shifted them to positive uplifting ones. Shanaya now feels like she can be consistent, productive and work towards herself with new, uplifting beliefs where she can learn how to handle her relationship with her mother-in-law with grace & ease as well as give herself the love and attention she always deserved. I also had to energetically divorce her and disassociate her from her mother’s trauma. Now that the subconscious programming has been changed, Shanaya has to put in the actual actionable steps to get fitter. Action is very important. If the subconscious supports the conscious, actionable steps become easy.
Note: Certain details have been tweaked in this to conceal the client’s identity.
If you’re struggling with an issue you cannot see yourself coming out of, contact me for a session.Drop me a DM on Instagram feeding_thy_soul or email me at themavenlifestyle@gmail.com.
Love,
Sia
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